Stupid News

Filed under: Humour, Photography | 7 Comments

Police recive a stupid report, where a baby is mistaken for a burrito

D’oh!

Back-to-Front Thong Man Gets Fine

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David Batchelor FinedIt’s about time for some more weird news. This story comes to us from BBC News Scotland:

A 58-year-old man who fed pigeons wearing only a skimpy thong which was back to front has been fined £150.

Neighbours spotted David Batchelor in his street in Perth in the underwear which left his genitals partly exposed. Perth Sheriff Court heard that children walking home from school had been passing by at the time.

His lawyer said that Batchelor had been drunk and there was no sexual element to the way he had behaved. He admitted committing a breach of the peace. When officers had turned up to investigate they found Batchelor still partially dressed and with his flimsy thong on the wrong way round.

The Full Story: BBC News

The mind boggles. Who goes out to feed the birds a pie anyway? And then while dressed in only a thong that’s on the wrong way round??

Woman Spent 2 Years Sitting on Boyfriend’s Toilet

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Woman Spent 2 Years on ToiletA 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding he never explained why it took him two years to call.

He said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water during the two years and told investigators he asked her daily to come out of the bathroom.

“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,’” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”

The full story.

Czech Police Baffled by Missing Bridge

Filed under: Humour, Miscellaneous | 3 Comments

Stolen Railway Bridge in  Czech RepublicPolice in the Czech republic are trying to find out who stole a 4 tonne railway bridge from a disused stretch of line in the border town of Cheb.

The company which was responsible for looking after the bridge raised the alarm on Tuesday when, ever vigilant, they noticed that the bridge wasn’t there any more.

Martina Hruskova, a spokeswoman for the Czech police, commented: “We are not sure if it was taken for personal use or for its scrap value”.

What “personal use” would that be then? Apparently bridge theft is becoming more and more common in the former Soviet states, with at least two bridges being stolen in Russia in the last six months and a couple going missing from Macedonia last February. Why the sudden rash of bridge theft? Is it the new thing, like cocaine was in the ’80s?

Remember kids: lock your bridge up at night.

Smurf World Record Attempt

Filed under: Humour, Miscellaneous, Photography | 7 Comments

Smurfy Smurf Smurf - Funny World Record!The Guinness book of World Records is a marvelous tome, featuring as it does a whole host of human feats, both of endurance and of stoicism. Many of the records feature fantastic heroics by both sportsmen and ordinary people, pushing themselves to the limit and besting everyone else in their chosen field. What we like most though, as the general public, are the ridiculous records. How many people can you fit into a phonebox? How many pegs can you fit on your face? How many baked beans can you eat with a toothpick in the space of one minute?

How many people dressed as Smurfs can you gather in one place at one time?

This is the record the people of Komin, Croatia decided that they could beat. Research on the Internet revealed that they would only have to gather more than two-hundred and ninety Smurfs in one place to clinch the record. The press were notified, campaigns were launched and a date was set. When the time came, three-hundred and ninety-five Smurfs descended on Komin.

Smurf World Record Attempt

Nearly four-hundred men, women and children all painted blue from head to foot, wearing white trousers and floppy white hats gathered together for the record attempt. With over one-hundred more Smurfs than the current record, they were surely a shoe-in.

“Excuse Me, I’m Doing Some Market Research…”

Filed under: Humour, Pub Talk | 4 Comments

Hudders’ Market ResearchI was just trawling the Interwebs this morning and stumbled across this bizarre story from 2003 when Tucson-based porn site owner, Tyrone Henry, was jailed for “fraud” when he lured two girls into his home, convincing them it was market research for a new face cream he was developing called “White Dew”.

The girls, aged 15 and 16, were told to kneel down, were blindfolded and then “cream” was applied to their faces. Unfortunately for the girls, this wasn’t some revolutionary new exfoliate but was in fact the hot steamy ejaculate of a sad, lonely man.

Bizarrely, these actions aren’t strictly a crime. You can’t charge the guy with sexual assault as he didn’t interfere with them sexually and you can’t get him for indecent exposure because… well… they were blindfolded. The only thing public prosecutor Bill Roach could come up with was a very limp case of fraud.

Two Ronnies: Round of Drinks

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Here is a video of Ronnie Corbett and Ronnie Barker doing what I think is one of their best sketches.

The Round of Drinks

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcrs5Z7S-oM[/youtube]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcrs5Z7S-oM

(sorry, it wouldn’t let me embed this video :( )

It’s really impressive how he managed to remember all of those lines! This is the second video posted so far of these two great comedians. If you enjoyed this, please check out the Fork Handles Sketch – Another classic! :)