Mermaid or Fish Head?

Filed under: Pub Talk | 13 Comments

beautiful mermaidIt was Sunday evening, and my friends and I were once again united in the local pub. My sister had kindly offered to drop me off, preventing me from getting soaked in the usual awful English weather.

With the rain hammering on the windows I took a sip of my beautifully smooth pint of bitter and let out a sigh of relaxation. The night was going great. I was warm, dry, surrounded by friends, and enjoying an extremely cheap beer when all of a sudden I was hit with the dreaded question:

“What would you rather have sex with; a mermaid or fish-headed woman?”

That is in fact a little bit of a white lie. The real question was something much more horrific…

McDonalds to Offer McDiplomas

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Pub Talk | 3 Comments

McDonalds to Offer McDiplomasFast food giant, Maccy D’s has been granted permission by the government of these here sceptred isles to give out diplomas that carry the same weight as GCSEs and A-Levels to their staff. In theory, this will mean that McDonalds staff will be able to work towards nationally-recognised certificates in such fields as health and safety, food hygeine and customer service. In reality it will mean nothing, since anybody with “McDonalds U” on their CV is going to get chucked on the “thanks, but no” pile.

I’m afraid to say that the old prejudices still rule these days; people are still turned away from prospective employers because of the school they went to and certain stigmas do still stick to certain professions. It’s one thing to have worked for McDonalds, but it’s quite another to get your qualifications from there.

Maybe Noddegamra.co.uk should do qualifications? You could earn your Message Board Posting BA(hons) after 50,000 posts maybe? Definitely something to look into.

More info: here.

“Excuse Me, I’m Doing Some Market Research…”

Filed under: Humour, Pub Talk | 4 Comments

Hudders’ Market ResearchI was just trawling the Interwebs this morning and stumbled across this bizarre story from 2003 when Tucson-based porn site owner, Tyrone Henry, was jailed for “fraud” when he lured two girls into his home, convincing them it was market research for a new face cream he was developing called “White Dew”.

The girls, aged 15 and 16, were told to kneel down, were blindfolded and then “cream” was applied to their faces. Unfortunately for the girls, this wasn’t some revolutionary new exfoliate but was in fact the hot steamy ejaculate of a sad, lonely man.

Bizarrely, these actions aren’t strictly a crime. You can’t charge the guy with sexual assault as he didn’t interfere with them sexually and you can’t get him for indecent exposure because… well… they were blindfolded. The only thing public prosecutor Bill Roach could come up with was a very limp case of fraud.

Top 5 Worst Movie Remakes

Filed under: Pub Talk | 8 Comments

Godzilla 1998 worst movie remake everThis is the first of many articles to be published under the new category of “Pub Talk”. Each time I join my friends down the local pub we seem to cover some interesting topics, some of which seem to fit nicely within this website. So, I have now decided to cover them as part of this new category.

This first article covers a recent discussion on movie remakes, many of which have been awful or at the very least utterly disappointing.

Check out this list of the Top 5 Worst Movie Remakes:

Top 10 Comic Book Villains

Filed under: Pub Talk | 5 Comments

Every once in a while, there comes a time when this topic finds its way into everyone’s pub conversation. There are many other comic book related subjects such as “top 10 super powers”, but I will hopefully get into these at a later date. Here is a list of my current Top 10 Comic Book Villains of all time!

10. Ra’s al Ghul

Ra's al Ghul Over 500 years old, Ra’s al ghul’s purpose in life is to bring perfect balance to the world through means of killing most of humanity. With vast wealth, knowledge, and power, this is a task that is not exactly impossible for him to achieve. In the years he has been alive Ra’s al ghul has learnt many martial arts, built a strong empire, and discovered Batman’s true identity making him a formidable opponent.