With the rain hammering on the windows I took a sip of my beautifully smooth pint of bitter and let out a sigh of relaxation. The night was going great. I was warm, dry, surrounded by friends, and enjoying an extremely cheap beer when all of a sudden I was hit with the dreaded question:
“What would you rather have sex with; a mermaid or fish-headed woman?”
That is in fact a little bit of a white lie. The real question was something much more horrific…
I was actually asked: “Would you rather have sex with a goat with no one knowing, or have everyone think you have sex with goats?”
Now.. either way this wasn’t exactly a win-win situation. I had to put my pint down and ponder it for a moment. Would I rather sleep with a goat, or have everyone think I did? After taking some time to think I was given what my friend considered to be a bit of a helping hand, “You can wear a condom so you don’t catch diseases”. Great, that makes the whole situation a lot more pleasurable.
In the end I opted out for people thinking I sleep with goats. I thought that with the chosen option, I may be able to convince others of my innocence over time, or that I would just learn to ignore the abuse.
Anyway, today I had a little look around at what other “Would you rather…?” questions exist around the Internet. Here are just some of the questions I found:
Would you rather…
- have a permanent smile, or permanent errection? (considerations: a funeral?)
- have all your hair look/feel like pubes, or be completely bald?
- fight Mike Tyson, or talk like him?
- find your parents having sex, or have your parents find you masturbating?
- be a homeless guy that everyone loves, or be a rich man that everyone hates?
- be 3ft tall, or 9ft tall?
- lose a testicle, or lose an arm?
- always wear wet socks, or always wear wet underwear?
It will be interesting to see what your replies would be to those listed above, and also any other “would you rather” questions you can think of, or that you have been asked yourself.