Happy Birthday Wallace and Gromit!

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wallace and gromit googleToday marks the 20th anniversary of Wallace and Gromit’s “Grand Day Out”, one of the main inspirations that got me into stop-motion animation. I remember back when “The Wrong Trousers” came out and I received a plasticine kit at Christmas which included a guide on how to make the characters. I spent numerous hours recreating Wallace, Gromit, and the evil little Penguin.

I have been a huge fan of Wallace and Gromit over the years and hope Aardman continue to make many more adventures for them.

Man Finds Woman Living in Closet

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woman found in wardrobe

Puzzled by food mysteriously disappearing from his refridgerator while he was out at work, a 57-year-old Japanese man from Fukuoka installed a security camera in his home. Reviewing the footage, he was shocked to see someone walking around and called the police in to investigate.

58-year-old Tatsuko Horikawa was discovered in a flat storage space only just big enough for a person to squeeze into lying down. She had sneaked a mattress and several plastic bottles into the closet and appears to have been living there, undetected, for months.

It is unclear how she managed to enter the home without being noticed. Police suspect she may have been “closet-hopping”, moving from house to house perhaps for years.

WTF News: Drunken Darth’s Jedi Rampage

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Drunken Darth Vader AttacksThis is another news story from the world of Odd. The BBC chooses to report this as “a man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan”, but in reality the man was wearing a black bin bag, wielding a metal crutch and hollering “DARTH VADER!” at the top of his voice.

The attack came whilst cousins Barney and Michael Jones, (who founded a Jedi church which has a local congregation of about thirty), were filming themselves fighting with lightsabres in their back garden. Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, the vaulted the garden wall dressed in the aforementioned black bin bag and assaulted both men by hitting them with a metal crutch. Ten points to anyone who finds the video on YouTube.

Hughes admitted two charges of common assault saying that alcohol was ruining his life, having consumed the best part of a 10 litre box of wine prior to the attack. He claims to have no memory of events and only realised what had happened after reading local newspapers later.
Gee, I knew Darth Vader was an ass but I didn’t realise it extended to common assault with a piece of hospital equipment! Strange how the BBC is giving full marks to his, frankly, lacklustre performance of the Sith Lord though. Personally, my headline would have been: “Drunken Maniac attacks Geeks”.

Here’s the story: BBC News

On a side note, when Hughes was late for his court appearance, District Judge Andrew Shaw issued an arrest warrant, adding: “I hope the force will soon be with him.” Heh heh. Classic!

WTF News: Man Arrested After Filling Up Imaginary Car

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A Kentucky man was arrested on drug trafficking charges on Sunday after he was reported pumping gas into an imaginary vehicle. According to the arrest report, Metro Police arrived at a gas station at First and Jefferson streets in Louisville and immediately smelled marijuana coming from Joshua L. Moore, who station clerks contend was filling up an imaginary vehicle.

To be honest, you don’t really need the story. Just look at that guy’s picture: it says it all!

Source: MSNBC

Mermaid or Fish Head?

Filed under: Pub Talk | 13 Comments

beautiful mermaidIt was Sunday evening, and my friends and I were once again united in the local pub. My sister had kindly offered to drop me off, preventing me from getting soaked in the usual awful English weather.

With the rain hammering on the windows I took a sip of my beautifully smooth pint of bitter and let out a sigh of relaxation. The night was going great. I was warm, dry, surrounded by friends, and enjoying an extremely cheap beer when all of a sudden I was hit with the dreaded question:

“What would you rather have sex with; a mermaid or fish-headed woman?”

That is in fact a little bit of a white lie. The real question was something much more horrific…

WTF News: Strange Awakening

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Grave StoneMore bizarre news from the Internets today, (hey this could be a new regular feature…). This week it’s from Phnom Penh in Cambodia:

A Cambodian man, tired of his wife’s habit of waking him up by yanking his penis and testicles, finally had enough and wrung her neck, police said on Friday.

Deputy provincial police chief of north-eastern Kratie province, Chhoub Chenda, said In Thoeun, 38, fell asleep after drinking on May 20, and when his wife Touch Svet, 29, came to wake him up in her usual painful way, his temper apparently flared and he grabbed her by the neck, killing her instantly.

“She woke him up once this way, but he didn’t stay awake and instead fell asleep outside under a tree. She did it again and he lost his temper,” Chhoub Chenda said, “He is very remorseful. They have a child. But he could not bear to be woken up like that any more.”

Source: IOL

To be perfectly honest I reckon this should be written off as justifiable homicide! The poor guy must have been walking around every day in so much pain with his family jewels all sore and rubbed raw from this inhumane treatment every morning! Ladies, please. DON’T DO THIS. Or else maybe you’ll get your neck wrung too!

EDIT: I just realised that this story is as old as the hills. But whatever, the advice still stands!

Dressing Up

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Dressing Up - Polly Pirate Comic Strip Cartoon